Saturday, November 15, 2008

Naval Chaplain School

After ODS, chaplain school seemed like a walk in the park. I moved into a hotel room that I shared with no one. I could sleep in til 6am and come and go from base whenever I wanted. It was really nice. It made staying awake in class a lot easier. We mostly did our PT on our own. I played basketball a little (we weren't allowed in ODS) and even got to play some racquetball.
During ODS we were mixed with doctors, lawyers, etc. But during chaplain school it was only chaplains. We had all different religious represented. There were two rabbis, a horde of evangelicals, Presbyterians, Lutherans, Anglicans, Nazarene, Pentecostals, Catholics, etc. It was great to get to mix with all of them. Every morning we had a little devotional. We were assigned days to be in charge of the devotional. Protestants did their own devotional. Catholics had theirs as well as the Jews. We were welcome to visit any of them. When the list came out showing who was in charge on what day, I wasn't on any of them. It think they didn't know where to put a Mormon chaplain. The last Mormon chaplain had asked to do his own thing, so they had given him his own room. I really thought that sounded like a bad idea. I am a protestant chaplain, and I want the other chaplains to know that we are included in the "christian" family. I asked several times to be added to the list, but they never did anything about it. I had several of my chaplain friends who had been given two assignments offer to give me one of theirs. Finally, one day when we had a field trip scheduled they didn't have a devotional scheduled so I got an opportunity. It was a great chance for us to get to know each others worship styles. We had everything from "high church" style to techno music. I learned a lot and will always remember those mornings sharing worship with these wonderful chaplains. I really gained a lot of respect for them.
The typical day in chaplains school consisted of morning devotional at 7:30 am, then class would begin at 8. Once again it was comprised of hours of powerpoint presentations that for the most part were interesting and relevant to our work as chaplains. They included such things as confidentiality, performing weddings, funerals, etc., and all the other things that chaplains need to know. There was some repeat from ODS. Unfortunately it was kind of like drinking from a fire hose. It was all good and important information, but there was so much that there was no way to retain it all. Then there was the problem of questions. We had a couple of people who loved to ask questions. It sometimes seemed like they did it just to sound smart. It made us go over time a lot. We had several presentations that we had to do. In groups we had to plan a special occasions (funeral, wedding, memorial service, etc), one presentation for a CO on some issue (mine was a enlisted sailor who wanted to become a conscientious objector), and then write a couple of prayers for special occasions (mine was the coast guard birthday).
We went on a few field trips as well. First we had a sort of spiritual retreat. We went to what looked like a summer camp and had a lot of free time to ponder and discuss spiritual things. It was really nice, but the bugs were unbearable. Later we got to go to the Coast Guard Academy and then to a submarine base in Connecticut where we got to tour a submarine. Near the end of chaplain school we went to a battle ship and stayed overnight on the USS Massachusetts. It is this giant world war 2 battleship. We slept on these cots. Mine was so squeaky that it kept myself and everyone else around me awake. I finally moved around 5 am to avoid being murdered by other chaplains. The next day, I went exploring around the town to check out all the cool old churches. Unfortunately they were all locked and nearly all closed down. When I asked about it I was told that New England is just not very religious any more.
After 5 weeks of chaplain basic training we began AMEX, the training intended to help us prepare for serving with the Marines. We were issued camo uniforms and all kinds of gear that we would use in the field. We went out to a National Guard post, set up our tents and started eating MRE's and hiking. That night I didn't sleep a wink. But the next morning we went to an obstacle course. They wouldn't let us do anything very high because they had some pretty serious injuries in previous groups, but it was still fun. That night we learned how to use night vision goggles. Then it started to rain. I had just fallen asleep in my tent and was really sleeping well when our gunnery sargean woke us up and made us get inside because of the rain and lightning. The floor was nice and hard so, of course, I slept very little. The next morning we did a leadership reaction course that was an absolute blast. We were divided into teams then given obstacles were we had to work together to solve a problem and get past the obstacle. The teachers called our group the "all star" group. Once we got it down we worked together quite well. But we definately weren't the most entertaining group to watch. One group had a leader who set up a chain of command in his four person group and required that any ideas be routed up the chain of command. He spent so long explaining the process that they ran out of time before they even did anything. Later, when he was trying to cross a water obstacle and was balancing on a plank above the water, his teamate got even by letting go of the rope supporting him, causing him to fall directly into the water.
On the way home from the LRC we encountered severe rain storms. By the time we got back to our camp, lightning was striking everywhere. The teachers decided it wasn't safe for us to stay, so we went back home for the night. I slept well. The next day we went back to camp, and cleaned up the mess caused by the rain. Then we had some classes and learned all about land navigation. Then they put us in groups, gave us maps and compasses, and sent us out to find checkpoints. This effort continued all day and into the night, all the time with rain pouring down. Then they had us paint our face and we went out on patrol. About midnight they called us in and showed us a movie about the marine corps and fed us pizza. We then got a shower and went to bed. The next morning we cleaned up and and went home. AMEX was definately my favorite portion of chaplain school.
After AMEX, we began something called TEAMS, which was kind of a waste of time. It was some skills such as PREP, which is a relationship program, and dealing with PTSD. It was good stuff, but I say it was a waste of time because they gave us all the information including powerpoints anyway. The teachers were really distracted, though, because there was a change of command that week. The most eventful thing that happened that week was the presentation I did for the other chaplains about Mormons. We did it at the church building. The bishop did the first part, then I did the end. It went pretty well, but only 9 chaplains came. I think they appreciated it and gained some respect and understanding for our church through it.
Finally the day of graduation came. It was really strange to think that I was officially a chaplain. I didn't feel ready. One of the RP's (chaplain assistant) there was LDS and had been having a hard time finding her faith in the Navy and had had a hard time with a anti-mormon chaplain she worked for. I think seeing an LDS chaplain gave her a little boost. One of my good friends who was a chaplain candidate said that he could see how much it meant to her to see an LDS chaplain. It was a very exciting time. Then, everything got turned upside down when I found out that afternoon that my orders were being changed. (to be continued)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Naval Officer Development School- Newport RI


So I arrived in Newport in mid may to begin training. First is a five week "mini-boot camp" designed to teach officers who commission directly (doctors, lawyers, dentists, chaplains, etc.) how to be an officer in the navy. The second I walked in I felt like i was back in college in the dorms. I had a small room with a bed, closet, and desk. My roomate had the exact same thing on his side of the room. In our hall there were about 24 identical rooms, all filled with doctors, lawers, nurses, chaplains and other similar types who were there so they wouldn't enter the navy completely clueless.



Many of us had been warned that they would wake us up early the first morning to start yelling at us and making us run and do push-ups. So we decided to wake up early so we were already prepared. That night, I think they purposely turned up the heat in the building. It was extremely hot, the radiator made strange noises (I still think there is somethink living in there), and we were all apprehensive so none of us slept. But we were up at about 4 am and ready to go. Nobody showed up until about 5:30am. And even then, the day was spent dealing with administrative stuff. Waiting in lines all day on little sleep. . .that was fun. But, we made it through. Finally we went to bed, and fortunately I slept quite well. About 3:30am we heard the cheifs who would be instructing us come down the hall banging on doors and yelling all kinds of words I had never heard before but all consisted of four letters, telling us that if we weren't out of bed and ready to go in 30 seconds we would all pay. So there we were. Half asleep, confused, nervous. It was great. Then we started the push-ups. Anything we did wrong (which was everything since we knew nothing about how to behave in the Navy) was rewarded with push-ups. Anything we did right was somehow twisted by the chiefs into some reason to make us do push-ups. Though I was pretty tired, I had a good time with it. After about an hour of push-ups and flutter kicks we had learned through trial and error how to address a superior officer as well as enlisted, how to stand, and proper military bearing. After that we went down to the track for our first physical fitness test. The chiefs later bragged about how every group had improved so much from the first test to the last. All in all we really didn't exercise all that vigorously, but nobody did all that great on their first test because we were sleep deprived and exhausted from an hour of push-ups and sit-ups.



This was to be the structure of things for the first week. Wake up, exercise, come back to the barracks, shower (we had to get 140 people showered in 15 minutes, using only abou 7 showers, so we had to cram three or four people into a shower stall at once. . .just kidding). Our rooms had to be immaculate. We soon learned that you made your bed, then slept on top of it so that you wouldn't have to remake it. . .just tighten it up. The garbage can and desk were ornamental items and were never used either. Despite all our efforts our rooms would still be tossed just because the chiefs thought it was funny. Then they would yell at us and tell us to get it clean in 15 minutes.



Then there was the pit. The pit was the instrument of torture that we were threatened with constantly. We didn't actually go to the pit until after our first room inspection. But, oh was it worth the wait. The pit is like a really big sand volleyball court, but without the net. We would spread out in the sand and do our exercises. What made it even more fun was the fact that there are geese and seagulls everywhere, so the sand box looked a little more like a litter box. And here we were rolling around in it. The chiefs loved it. When else would they get a chance to make officers--especially doctors, lawyers, chaplains, etc--look like complete idiots. They worked us for a while, then right before we would leave they would make us roll in it so we would bring all the sand into our rooms, and have to clean them all over again. Our first trip to the pit was great. We ended up with one dislocated shoulder, one scratched cornea, and a strained knee. I hope it doesn't sound like it was really that bad. I am just trying to be dramatic because it makes for better reading. I actually liked it a lot. The only thing I hated was that the first time we went straight to dinner afterward, so we were dripping sweat, sand and goose turd into our food as we ate. Protein and minerals, just what we needed!



Our meals were the main thing that sustained us every day. We were not allowed to talk or watch any of the tv's that were around. We weren't allowed to eat dessert, or anything carbonated or caffeinated. It was amazing to me how difficult this was to people. Most people told me that the hardest part of ODS for them was going without coffee for the first two weeks (they let us have it after that). If any of us ever thought that things were tough for us, we simply had to look at those who were going through officer candidate school. These are the people who are competing to be chosen as officers. They are treated like garbage. They are exposed to every type of stress the Drill instructors can come up with to see how they deal with it. At meal time they looked like robots as they ate their food because everything they did had to be done in a certain way. My first time seeing them I thought they were POW's. Their heads are shaved, they are sleep deprived, so they don't look well emotionally, and most of them look like they haven't been fed much. They have to eat all their food with a spoon (just to make it more challenging) and they have a limited amount of time to eat. I gained a great respect for those guys and what they go through. It was funny at times to see what they had to do, but it was inspiring to see what these young men were willing to endure to serve their country.



It was all quite an adventure and I absolutely loved it. Things got a little easier in some ways after the first week. We got to sleep in until about 4:30am. But in other ways it was more difficult. We had to sit through hours of powerpoint lectures in a hot stuffy room and were forbidden from dozing off. We were allowed to stand in the back of the room. It was common to half half of the class standing up. After awhile standing didn't even help and I found myself praying that I wouldn't fall over and hurt or embarrass myself. I remember occasionally thinking that some of the stuff they were teaching sounded pretty interesting and that I wished I could pay attention. But those thoughts only lasted a minute or too until I lapsed back into my semi-conscious state.

Newport was beautiful. The weather was pretty nice if a little cool most of the time. I remeber one day as we were being beaten in the pit looking out over the bay and just enjoying the view. On our first weekend when we were given off-base liberty some of us rented bikes and rode all around the little island we were on. We went to a beautiful beach, rode past incredible mansions, and explored so biking trails and did some rock climbing. It made me really excited about the experiences I was having. One day I was walking by myself getting some administrative stuff done and I was just looking up at the beautiful sky enjoying the view when a flock of seagulls flew past and dive bombed me. I got plastered all over my shoulder. There is an important life lesson in that. Just when life is starting to look beautiful. . .

We did several things that were really fun for training. One day we went to a simulator that teaches you how to save a sinking ship. It is this ship that has holes and leaks all over in it. They start pumping water in and you have to get inside and fix the leaks to keep it from sinking. Sometimes I was completely underwater trying to get the holes plugged. It was a blast. Another day we went to fire fighting training. We put on all the gear including oxygen tanks and put out fires. It was interesting, but extrememly hot and uncomfortable. We also simulate abandoning a ship by jumping from a tower and swimming 200 meters, then boarding a life raft.

The first week was really the only difficult part, and even that wasn't too bad. For some people it was hard because they are pleasers. They would try so hard to do everything right so the chiefs would get after them. They would spend hours cleaning their room or shining their shoes. But the chiefs didn't really care about that. They would still tell them it wasn't good enough and make them do push-ups or yell at them. Fortunately I figured the game out pretty early on. I noticed that people who were extremely meticulous about their rooms were getting the same scores and having their rooms tossed just the same as the ones who didn't put as much time into it. On one of the first days when our chief was teaching us how to make a bed the "right way," he had to use the instruction book himself and it was clear he didn't know how to do it. When our rooms would get tossed or we would go to the pit most of us soon caught on that that was going to happen regardless of what we did. Still there were a few who would desperately try to get everybody to stress out about everything as much as they did. That was pretty annoying at first, but by the last couple of weeks, we had all gotten pretty close so things didn't seem so stressful anymore (and having a little more sleep helped too).

The best part of the experience by far was the people. I have painted the chiefs as jerks because, well, they were. That was their job. By the end, though, we all loved them. Looking back now I think it is kind of like Stockholm syndrome. After they yell at you long enough every joke they tell you seems soooo funny, and everything they say that is personal or serious seems so important. It think it is just because you are so happy that they are not yelling at you. It became like an abusive/dependent relationship. When we graduated, though we gave our chief a gift that took him by surprise a little. He liked us at the end and did a pretty good job of showing it. Well, sort of. Somehow I got conned into painting something for the chiefs in their lounge. It started by me drawing our company mascot on the whiteboard. It was a unicorn (our company name was "uniform" so our nickname was unicorn) with our chief riding on it with a drawn sword. When he saw it he said "Top, that is friggin sweet. You made me look like a homo because you put me on a unicorn, but it is friggin awesome. I want you to paint something for me." So from then on, everyday I heard, "Top, when are you going to paint our goat locker?" I did finish before I left. I will include pictures if I remember. They never said thank you, but one of them said "That is friggin amazing Top." The chiefs are always such sentimental guys.

Any time you take a bunch of grown adults who all have graduated from college, many from graduate school and have become accustomed to living on their own and put them in close quarters understressful conditions you can expect friction. Despite that, I think we got along remarkably well. Within a couple of weeks we were used to doing everything together. I made some great friends. And I actually kind of miss that closeness. It was a great experience.

Being an LDS chaplain was an interesting experience as well. One of the first things that chaplains ask each other when they first meet is "What is your denomination." I was asked that quite a bit at the beginning, often seeing sort of a funny look in their eyes when I responded that I was Mormon. I would later learn why this was. Before joining I had heard stories of prejudice faced by LDS chaplains from other Christian chaplains. I am happy to say that I never felt any of that from the people I trained with. They were all great people. I remember feeling immediately that my roomate, who was a self proclaimed presbycostal chaplain, seemed a little surprised by having a Mormon roomate. I liked him immediately and we seemed to get along great. A few days into our training he said to me, "I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it." That kind of statement always gets your attention. "You know that people think you're wierd, right?" I laughed pretty hard at that and said something like, "My wife tells me that all the time," even though I knew he was talking about my religion. "No, I mean Mormons." I laughed again and said that it is pretty hard to be a Mormon and not know that people think you are different. As I look back on that experience, I think that what he expected from Mormons and what he found to be the truth were a little different and he was trying to figure out why Mormons get such a bad reputation. I have a great love for my roomate, as well as many other great friends that I made during my time their. I hope I was able to be a good example for our church and change some hearts about us.

During the last week of our 5 week training we were pretty much on our own. Except for practicing for graduation we rarely saw our chiefs. I was pretty excited for Katie to come visit me and to get on to chaplain school. We had some get togethers and some skits. I got suckered into doing a chief impression, but really just made a fool of myself. But finally Katie arrived and made life wonderful. I graduated from ODS and moved to Naval Chaplain School.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

A little background


I'm not exactly a big talker. I think that my family will agree with that. When I was on my mission I didn't write home very much, to my parents chagrin. I don't call home all that often and I am often the last one in the family to hear any news. Because of that even my family is not always sure what is going on in my life. And when they do know what is going on, they may not know all the details behind it. Because of that, and because I am trying to turn over a new leaf and be a little more intentional and sentimental, I am making this blog. It may be very short, but it is still the thought that counts.
So I will backtrack a little bit to fill in some important little tidbits. In case somebody is reading this who doesn't know, I am married to the world's most adorable woman, and have three of the most adorable kids. For seven years I taught full time LDS seminary in Utah. I loved the job and the students. I can honestly say that I never dreaded going to work, and would even dread the long school vacations because I missed teaching. In 2006, however, I began having feelings that something was coming. I can't explain it very well, and some of it is too personal to try, but I started to think that maybe I wouldn't be teaching seminary for the rest of my life. I had several dreams (and it is not very common that I remember my dreams) that made me think about changing careers. I remember one day around Christmas time in 2006 walking somewhere and my mind kept trying to decide what job I would do if I didn't teach seminary. I was still very resistant to the idea, so I tried to push it out of my mind, but it was persistant. I also later had this overwhelming feeling of needing to get out of Utah. I just had this desire to have some more experiences. As feelings intensified, God made it clear that it was time for us to make the change. Katie was completely in agreement and supportive, so we took the leap of faith and put ourselves in the Lord's hands early in 2007. I still remember the day that I finalized my resignation with CES. Even though it was scary I felt so good and happy about what I was doing. Meanwhile, my sister Jessica, whose husband is a Physician's Assistant in the Army recommended that I look into becoming a Chaplain. As soon as she said it I knew that was what I was looking for. It is sort of like when you are putting together a puzzle and trying to find a certain piece. You can find lots that look like they should fit, and you may even force it in there, but when you actually find the piece that slides right in there it feels great. So immediately after she mentioned it I began the process of becoming a military chaplain.
The Department of Defense requires chaplains to have a master's degree in some sort of theology with at least 72 graduate hours. Fortunately my Masters in religious education at BYU was all but done, but for some reason, five years after beginning I still hadn't been able to finish. That turned out to be a great blessing for me because the my program consisted of only 40 hours. So because I had not yet finished my degree, I was able to go back and complete the rest of the required credits, with the appearance of all being part of the same degree (while this is not required it looks a lot better). So I immediately went back to school full time. I took classes in military ministry, and counseling psychology.
I also had to find a job that would be flexible enough that I could go to school and take care of my family. As I searched I found an add in the paper for a car salesman and Murdock Hyundai. For some crazy reason I felt really good about it. From a seminary teacher to car salesman...what a fall. It actually turned out to be an incredible blessing for my career as a chaplain. One of the things I have never been good at is going out and actively getting to know people quickly. As a salesman I had to get to know and understand people quickly and to build their trust by listening and helping. I realize that salesmen don't have the best reputation, and maybe don't always have the best motives for what they do, but the skills I have learned have been very helpful to me as a chaplain. It is amazing how the Lord has led us through this path even in seemingly small and simple ways.
Fall Semester 2007 I had the amazing opportunity to teach three sections of Book of Mormon while I was attending BYU and finishing up my required classes and my Thesis. It was a wonderful experience. I was blessed with very good classes. I was also taking 23 credits at the time. It just about killed me during finals trying to juggle everything. In fact, I got strep during the last week of finals and was unable to take several of my finals, but I still passed, and that is all that mattered.
After graduating, I began the application process to become a chaplain in the Air Force. However, when I called to contact the chaplain recruiter he said they didn't need any Mormon chaplains. I said that I would like to submit the application anyway because I felt my qualifications were pretty good. He said it didn't matter how qualified I was and that they wouldn't even accept my application because the didn't need anymore Mormon chaplains (there are currently 7, and our church is the most under-represented church besides the Catholics). So I called a navy recruiter. They literally bent over backward to make things happen. They were so excited to get LDS chaplains. There were several miracles in the process of getting all my paperwork in, but in the end I took the oath of office and went off to training in May of 2008.